PAULthinksmusings by a feminist
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  • • "Maybe I can get up early and be productive before work?!" Thus proving my hope never dies. Good night! - 09/25/17, 01:09 am
  • • Darn it. I was really hoping to be productive tonight after my paid photoshop gig but all i did was watch TV. :( - 09/25/17, 01:09 am

It was a rough day. I’m now about half of the way through my project of writing a Christmas blog every day and I’ve had some fun doing it. I think it’s even brightened up my disposition at work and in other aspects of my life.

I don’t have a lot of time to spare on an average day, and it usually takes me a couple of hours to write up these little essays, edit them, edit them again, and then sometimes I think about what I’ve written overnight and edit them another time before I post them. Sometimes, I feel good enough about my writing that I just post it as soon as I’m done typing. I have to admit that I’m pretty sleepy these days. But I’m generally in good spirits and I think that writing about aspects of the holiday that I enjoy has made a big difference in my mood.

But Wednesday wasn’t fun. I woke up with a slight headache, probably from dehydration. It was gray and murky out there when I walked my dog. There was no snow and I couldn’t see any Christmas decorations through the murk. Not that I had been expecting snow, I’m just always hopeful about it. I went to work and discovered that I’d left my lunch and my wallet at home. I scrounged up something to eat and tucked into the gift popcorn that a vendor had sent to us. There was some foolishness, some arguing, and various things going wrong — a typical day at the office. The end of the day came with a shouting match about what sort of Christmas party we were going to have. I thought, “Really?” I drove home through unreasonably slow traffic, tired and hungry. As I pulled into my parking lot, I thought about skipping the blog this time.

Then I took my dog for a walk and at night I could see the decorations. Greens and reds and lit up trees winked at me through my neighbors’ blinds. I even saw one apartment decorated with some six sided stars and blue and white lights which made me wonder if I could hear The Hanukkah Song in the distance. I thought about how I had started this journal in an attempt to regain that holiday spirit. I thought about how some holiday music can pick me up. So I went home and I checked the iTunes music store and found two new free holiday songs.

I liked Jaci Velasquez’s “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear”, wasn’t so sure about Carter’s Chord’s countrified “O Come O Come Emmanuel”. That latter song hasn’t ever been one of my favorites to begin with and then I discovered that there’s a soft-core pornography franchise where all the titles contain Emmanuelle. That kinda messes me up. As long as we’re talking about Christmas songs, I really like The Weepies’ “All That I Want” from the album, A Winter’s Night. You might recognize it from that JCPenney commercial that’s come out in the last month. Anyway, the music made me smile.

I reflected how I’ve been contacted by a few people now about how they like these little web logs I’ve written. I love the feedback, by the way. I looked up information on the internet about how to care for a short, live Christmas tree. I felt better.

Becca wanted me to go out to K2 and dance and I can’t say I was the most motivated ever, but I like hanging with Becca so I went. When I got there, I had some fun dances with Johanna, Jes, Susan, and Soo. Allen played “Swingin’ Them Jingle Bells” and it was a blast (I forgot how fast it is)! I ate a tiny slice of sweet potato pie. I just generally got my Xmas on. I don’t know if anybody there could tell, but that’s okay.

The vast difference between my day and my evening just showed me how easily we can all get overwhelmed by the junky things in our normal lives. By having set aside the goal for myself to really grab that Christmas spirit, I was able to motivate myself just that little bit more to pick my own spirits up. If this had been a crummy day in May, I might have just stayed home and given up on the whole stupid twenty-four hours. Instead, I worked to get that spirit back. So, thank you, Christmas.

To recap: at the end of the day (I wrote this one late at night on Wednesday), I was doing pretty well. I took a lousy work day, added some Christmas, sprinkled on some friends, and heated it all up with some dancing to end up with a tasty treat of a day. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.

About Paul Roth

A vegetarian, agnostic, lindy-hopping, dog-loving tv-watcher who likes to read his own words.
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