I think that I can legitimately say that I still have good relationships with all of my ex-girlfriends from the past six years. All both of them. It doesn’t seem too surprising at this time that things would turn out so well, while looking back at both experiences with the clarity of hindsight. Both were loving relationships, both involved emotional growth and general maturation, and both ended in honestly facing the evidence that we were not meant to last as couples. There were rocky parts through each. There was some dishonesty in each (though I think sometimes it was unintentional or from misguided concerns). But there were moments of beauty experienced together, and hundreds of great memories built in each, and I still regularly talk to both women.
They are both great women in ways too numerous to count and right for someone, just not me.
I was inspired to think of them both as I drove home tonight after hanging out with one of them and I heard a song on the radio: Miss Independent by Ne-Yo. It’s a cool song and a fun video (although there were parts in the video that made me wonder, “Is this scene appropriate for the message here?”) and hearing it made me realize that the female object of the song is the sort of woman who I would want to date, too. At least in part:
“There’s something oh so sexy about
The kinda woman that
Don’t even need my help”
I do think that’s sexy. And the very beginning of the song included another great phrase:
“Ooh there’s something about
The kinda women that want you
But don’t need you.”
Sing it, Ne-Yo! The something about them is self-sufficiency, which usually goes hand-in-hand with some level of maturity. There’s not much that a woman could wear, or not wear as the case may be, that’s hotter than that.
After the song finished, I turned off the radio for fear of a whining, moaning, or Britney Spears song that could turn my mood. I took the rest of the drive home to try to think of other songs that would fit my interests. What other song could I quote in a match-dot-com posting to describe the person-I’m-seeking? As I thought about it, I realized that tons of songs portray women (and men) as whiny, foolish, overreacting, in-need-of-protecting, incapable damsels in distress of staying unattached. Yeah, the men, too. Losers.
I did think of one other, though. Short Skirt/Long Jacket by Cake. Okay, the last verse is weak except for the white Chrysler LeBaron, which is just rad. Especially in a ’93 coupe. But the first two-thirds of the song just describe some fantastic feminine badass. My favorite lines (not necessarily in order of preference nor contiguous):
“I want a girl with a mind like a diamond”
“And eyes that burn like cigarettes”
“Who is fast, and thorough, and sharp as a tack”
“Who uses a machete to cut through red tape.
With fingernails that shine like justice,
And a voice that is dark like tinted glass”
What’s that you’ve got there? Some fantastic similes? One brilliant metaphor? Nice.
So I’m pretty sure the woman I’m looking for is a combination of the badass personality in Cake’s song and the wholly capable adult of Ne-Yo’s song. If you’re out there, I have two good references and I can dance. Here I come.